While writing the book To Be Perfectly Honest one of my great dilemmas was this: How honest should I be with my wife? Ramona and I have been married over 30 years and part of it is that I avoid saying things like “Crying is blackmail”, but here’s my secret to a long marriage – ready? I remember her birthday; I forget her age.
Is there ever a time in marriage for fudging the truth? On day 25 of my journey to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I set out to be totally honest with my wife. Within hours she was chasing me with a broom. But the ultimate dilemma for us guys is when your wife stands before you and asks, “Do the horizontal stripes on this dress make me look husky?” What to do? Do we join the navy and leave home? No. But if ever your wife mentions the word fat in a sentence and it relates to her, be fast. Jump right in. Before she even finishes the word fat say, “Not a chance, babe. You look great! I can’t believe you married me.” Such words will keep you happily married for hundreds of years.
Here are a few other honest reasons we’re still together: More than anything, it’s been God’s grace. We believe in stubborn commitment. She doesn’t vacuum during baseball games. We dance together. We say things like, “Sorry”, “I forgive you” and “Here’s my wallet.” Okay, be careful with that one. In all of our relationships there are times we need to speak up, address a problem, but remember there’s a way to do it. God’s word is filled with amazing relational advice. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Next time you’re wondering about confronting your spouse, Here’s a little acrostic to help you. It’s the word T-H-I-N-K.
T-Is what I’m about to tell her True?
H-Is it Helpful?
I-Will it Inspire her?
N-Is it Necessary?
K-Am I Kind about it?
Simple kindness is one of the most endearing traits in any lasting relationship. Find a way today to use simple kindness and watch how it brightens your loved one’s face and brings joy to their day.
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