Insomniacs Anonymous (click to comment)

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I’m sick and tired of insomnia. Of the nagging feeling this dog must have had when he finally came to (promise me you’ll come back as soon as you watch this):

Experts tell us that 48 percent of us suffer from a sleeping disorder. If this is true, we need to stay awake until we think of a cure. And that’s precisely what I’ve done. At 2 a.m. I compiled a list of seven tips for those who sleep like a baby—waking and screaming often.

1. Make your sleeping area comfortable. Your room should be a comfortable sleeping temperature, around 18 degrees since body temperature drops during sleep. If you can blow smoke rings with your breath, turn up the heat. Decrease noise and turn off your cell phone or toss it in the sink. If snoring is a problem, buy earplugs for your wife. Wear a sleep mask if necessary. Remove it before going to work the next day.
2. Exercise won’t kill you. You sweat less at night if you do more of it during the day. A recent study shows that older and middle-age people sleep better when they exercise regularly. One caution: your body needs about three hours to unwind after exercise.
3. Be consistent. As much as possible stick to the same general bedtime and waking time every day—even on weekends. When possible, bring your pillow on trips. Leave your bed at home.
4. Wind down. Remember you can’t land a Boeing 747 on a sixty foot runway. Your body needs time between a hectic day and bed. Consider a warm bath, a hot shower, prayer, conversation or one of my books before bedtime.
5. Sleep like a baby, don’t act like one. If you get angry about not sleeping, you won’t sleep. Don’t go to bed to do your taxes, figure out your business strategy or rescue endangered species. Associate bed with sleeping.
6. Learn to trust. Scripture verses in the middle of the night can turn the worst experience into a good one. David, a charter member of Insomniacs Anonymous, wrote, “On my bed I remember [God]” (Psalm 63:6), “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8).
7. Count your blessings. Should these suggestions fail you, remember that even insomnia can be a blessing. I’m serious. Throughout the years I have discovered that though I have little quiet time in my hectic day, I do have the nights. Insomnia has provided me ample time to meditate and pray for others.

It’s 4 a.m. now. Time to shut off the computer. And set the alarm clock for tomorrow afternoon.

Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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