Proverbs 31 Dad (click to comment)

In the book of Proverbs you’ll find 31 short chapters. Thirty chapters tell men to smarten up and guard our hearts. The final chapter is a beautiful Hymn to Mothers. This book prepared me for Mother’s and Father’s Day sermons. Moms are praised and fathers are, well, not.

So here’s a tribute to papa, adapted from that glorious ode to the ideal wife and mother. This is my take on the Proverbs 31 Dad.

A good husband is hard to find, And worth more than a lifetime supply of Belgian chocolate. His wife trusteth him without regret, Enjoying his company so much that she may even golf with him should she take leave of her senses. He buyeth her the choicest of finery, but never on credit. He payeth more attention to his children Than his SmartPhone or Netflix. Somehow he findeth time To attend their sporting events, Stifling his desire to scream at referees. He doth also attend recitals, Never wincing when sour trumpet notes are hit. Though screaming ensues, he dealeth with it calmly, Disciplining in love, then buying ice cream. He kisseth owies, repaireth leaky sinks and shattered vases, Muttering but softly when he stubbeth his toe. He praiseth his wife for hard work and new hairdos. Provideth gladly for his family He prefereth a home to a house, Bible reading to Pacman, A car that’s paid for to the smell of new leather seats. He forgetteth not his anniversary, Complimenting his wife’s clothing, yea even her purse. With great wisdom he bringeth along a book to read, While his wife doth shop for clothes. He complaineth not about the inlaws, But joyfully cutteth the roast when they visit. He careth more about widows and orphans, Than buying boats and vacation homes. He chooseth wisely his Facebook friends, Avoiding the second glance, And the seedy side of the Internet. Though his girth may grow and his hairline recede, He laughs at the days to come. Strength and honor are his calling cards, Serving God his greatest pleasure. Meet him at the door with a kiss and a welcome home ladies, For he is to be valued above diamonds, Dark chocolate and season tickets to the symphony. Festoon his plate with ice cream and mangos, Adorn his feet with cushions and turn on the game. For fame is fleeting and good looks fade, But a man who loves his family and his God Is a living celebration.

Happy Father’s Day Dads, from the Laugh Again staff! God bless you, real good.