Posts Tagged ‘February’
What’s in a Name?
When I was a kid we used to tell name jokes. We stood in the schoolyard and one of us would say, “What do you call a lady with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen Dover.” And we would laugh until we had to sit down. “How about a guy without arms and legs…
Read MoreEveryday Hero
Most of us don’t feel very heroic. We roll out of bed Monday, put our face on, and trudge off to work where we spend the morning trying to remember what we were avoiding doing on Friday. Then we find ourselves daydreaming… Flames leap from a building. “Sparky is still inside!” a lady screams as…
Read More#Selfie by Phill Callaway
When I was a kid, it was almost impossible to get a good snapshot of yourself. No one took selfies in those days. You couldn’t afford them. You bought film and mailed it away to be developed. And about 20 of 24 of the pictures came back completely black because the camera malfunctioned. Of the…
Read MoreLove Languages
One of the joys of visiting other countries is having the chance to read badly translated signs. Here’s one from an airport in China, which reads, “If you are stolen, call the police at once.” In Taiwan, the Pepsi slogan, “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation,” was mistakenly translated, “Pepsi will bring your ancestors back…
Read MoreThe Most Useless Activity (click to comment)
When I was barely wet behind the ears, I worked one summer for a construction company. Now, if you’ve ever been the new guy or gal on the worksite, you tend to get stuck doing jobs no one else wants to do. The real challenge comes when you finish all of these jobs, and your…
Read MoreThe Valentine Blues (click to comment)
It’s that time of year. Snuggle up to that special someone in your life, nibble on their earlobe, and tell them how much they make your heart flutter and your knees wobble. Time to blow some cash on chocolate and flowers, and dust off that bottle of cologne—if you can find it. For many of…
Read MoreCruel PUNishment (click to comment)
One of the joys of being a humourist is that people think that I’m just dying to hear their jokes. I have a friend that usually has a pun for me when I bump into him. He’ll say, “Hey Phil, what’s the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle, and a poorly dressed…
Read MoreA Matter of Life and Debt (click to comment)
Many years ago my wife and I sat down to look at our finances, and whether or not we would run out of money before the end of the month. Our net was looking pretty gross, so we made a list of our personal assets. I’m told there are two kinds of assets. “Liquid” assets…
Read MoreThe Nicest Thing Ever (click to comment)
What is the nicest thing someone has ever said to you? My wife was at the swimming pool a few days ago and a lady in the change room was singing a beautiful worship song. Ramona came around the corner and said, “Sing it sister!” The lady said, “I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed. I didn’t know…
Read MoreFailing with Flair (click to comment)
Have you ever failed at something? I sure have. Attempting to sail through life without failing is like trying to eat tomato soup with chop sticks. During a 1978 firemen’s strike in England, the British Army took over their duties and responded to a call by an elderly lady in South London whose cat needed…
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