To My Son On His Wedding Day

Dear Steve,

For 30 years we’ve prayed that God would provide a wife for you. A strong wife. God has a sense of humour. You’ve married Dallas, a world-record-holding powerlifter, able to squat 400 pounds. I told her, “That’s nothing. I do diddly squats.” She laughed, which is one more of a hundred things we love about her.

I understand you can now lift more than Dallas. Congratulations. I hope you’ll be able to lift a vacuum cleaner and a dishcloth, too. These simple acts will take you far.

When you were born, we prayed our favourite prayers: “Help! Thanks! Awesome!” And soon we began praying for your mate. We prayed she would love Jesus even more than she loves you. We prayed you’d have so much fun together you couldn’t stand being apart. We didn’t know she would be strong-minded and red-headed and a little red-necked too. We didn’t pray she’d like sitting with me in the backyard shooting BBs through Ginger Ale cans and talking about life.

These are bonuses from the hand a good, good Father.

You’ve said your vows. We’ll say some too.

We pledge not to nag you about having kids. And when you hurry up and have kids we will babysit for you once a year. $10 an hour. You bring the food.

We will do our absolute best to never offer unsolicited advice. This may nearly kill me, but I’ll try. We will love you both and not interfere in your marriage. You have left and cleft and we’re thrilled. Should you have an argument, you will have our love, but never our sofa. Work it out.

We vow to keep praying for you all our lives, that you’ll put Jesus at the center. That’s how you grow close to each other. Nothing about this noisy world stops us in our tracks to consider eternal stuff, so we pray you’ll listen to God’s voice and make your marriage count for eternity.

I vow to love your mother while life shall last. All these years she has never once mentioned divorce or even murder because God’s grace is amazing and I married a good forgiver.

Remember to read the Bible and pray together. Remember, love is like deodorant. Put it on everyday or life will stink. Go looking for strengths. In bad times, remember and talk about the good times.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

Your biggest fans,

Mom and Dad

P.S. Now it’s time for Dallas to carry you across the threshold.

Dallas & Steve

Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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