Top Three Headshakers Lessons learned from crooks gone wild

I’ve engaged in some ill-advised activities through the years. Chewed tobacco, thinking, this will taste good. Dropped barbells on my nose in ninth grade. I even bought a 2020 planner just before Covid hit. But the following three true stories make me feel positively brilliant.

First up, Graham Price of South Wales robbed the bank where he worked, but we are still scratching our heads to figure out why he left a note in the safe: “Borrowed, seven million pounds”—Graham Price.”  They say there’s honor among thieves, but this is pushing it.

Next up is the case of “Don’t move. I’ve got a banana.” According to a bus driver, a woman attacked him with a half-eaten banana. “I had banana all over me,” he insisted in court. The woman explained that the driver almost hit her car so she entered the bus to discuss the matter and the banana slipped from her hands, as bananas will do. She couldn’t explain how the banana ended up all over his tie, his shirt, and in his eye. The court slapped her with a $100 fine. I doubt she found that very appealing.

Finally, a 12-year-old boy adamantly denied having stolen an iPhone when questioned by police at his home. Then the iPhone rang in his closet. “Okay, yes, I stole that,”  he said, “but I didn’t steal the Blackberry.” And then it too rang.

I was younger than this boy when I learned Numbers 32:23, “Be sure your sins will find you out.” (I can’t imagine why my parents wanted me to know that!) In time, I discovered that sin is short-sighted. It may feel good for a season, but the consequences are more than we are built to bear. Thank God for his grace and forgiveness; for the unsurpassed peace of coming clean.

Psalm 1 says, “Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers.”

God sees all, knows all, and forgives all who turn to him. Yes, even the dad who celebrated Bring Your Child to Work Day by bringing his son along to rob a pet shop. I kid you not. No word as to whether or not he left a note behind.

Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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