What Mom Knows (click to comment)

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Mothers are amazing.

My wife grew up in a home of mostly girls. So when our two boys came along, she wasn’t quite prepared for two little orangutans streaking about the house wearing nothing but big smiles. They put jello in the toaster, mud in their diapers, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the VCR. Still, she loved them. Along the way, she learned valuable lessons. Here are seven she knows but wishes she didn’t:

1. A three-year-old can out scream 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
2. Kids should never throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
3. A single pane window will not stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
4. An eight-ounce glass of milk spilt on the back floor of the car without being reported can stink up the whole vehicle for two summers.
5. Peas are easily removed from a two-year-old’s nose; beans require a lot more work.
6. Marshmallows and microwaves should not be combined.
7. Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old. Dollies will not.

My own mom raised five little hooligans living under the poverty line. Mom knew that the kids were organized and unionized, but they weren’t in charge. She was. Mom knew to never utter a threat without backing it up with action. Mom knew to let us kids make mistakes. She knew that money was a lousy substitute for being there, that words were no substitute for a faithful life, and she knew that kids spell love T-I-M-E. She knew Jesus as her Lord and Saviour. She demonstrated his love by the life she lived. She took God very seriously; herself, not so much. She read the Bible each day and lived on her knees. She loved Psalm 78:4: “We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done.” I’m so thankful for the things my mom knew.

Thanks, moms, for hanging in there. You loved us through the runny nose and full diaper stage; you endured loud noises and late nights; you loved us when we didn’t return it; you never stopped believing the prodigal would come home. Motherhood is far from glamorous, but there’s nothing more important. If it wasn’t for the things my wife knows, who knows where our kids would be today. She knows that if you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. But it will rotate a birthday cake fast enough to leave icing on all four walls.

Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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