I am a huge baseball fan. As I write, Toronto’s Blue Jays are battling the Los Angeles Dodgers in the World Series. I’m watching with the grandkids. There are wild highs and lows; soaring victories and crushing defeats. Win and there is bouncing off the ceiling. Lose and we have a national day of crying and whining and snivelling.
Sometimes the kids take it hard too.
We have entered that stage when they aren’t just watching, they’re beginning to play sports as well. Seth is a future star pitcher for the Blue Jays. He’s working on his four-seam fastball. “Grandpa, watch this!” He hurls the pitches. I call the strikes.
When I was younger, I played minor league baseball. Very minor league. Little League is what they called it.
Seriously, if your child or grandchild plays Little League baseball, you know how it works. The coach lines up the grownups and says, “Congratulations on your child making this exclusive elite team, the Saskatoon Sand Poodles. I’m Coach Goodenough, and on weekends your child is mine. This weekend we travel to Puerto Rico where we play the San Sebastian Piranhas. It will only cost you $23,000 per family, plus snacks. Next weekend is more of a home series in Coastal Florida, where we’ll play the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. What’s that? You don’t have a passport? Get one. You don’t have enough money? Take out a loan.” The coach isn’t finished. “I’m pretty excited,” he says. “If we win this division, we go to the Little League World Series in Turkey. And fly home just in time to start football season.”
Speaking of football season, we’ve traveled a bit to watch our 11-year-old grandson play tackle football. Andrey played most Saturdays in the fall and it was a hoot to watch. They won their first game 67-6, so it was close until that opening kickoff.
After the game, I congratulated him. “Know what I like?” I said. “You did your best. And you had fun.” Andrey grinned. It was true. Then I reminded him not to tackle a player who doesn’t have the ball. We laughed. “I got a penalty,” he said. And he did.
One of the intrinsic benefits of sports is that they teach participants and their fans about life. That there are rules. That life isn’t fair. That bad things happen to wonderful people. Like few other venues, sports can instruct us in teamwork, cooperation, and disappointment. And—without a doubt—that we’re sinners. All of us.
Here are four secrets I’m learning that can help us all come out as winners.
1: Be a positive presence. Chances are you never made the cheerleading squad. Until now. Cheer loudly for everyone, not just your child or grandchild. Even if you’ve driven across two time zones to watch them play, make sure they hear you say, “I love to watch you play.”
- Stay in your lane.The chief roles of a grandparent, I’m learning, are prayer and encouragement. Respect their parents’ approach and avoid interfering. We provide unconditional love, regardless of the score. And we avoid criticizing players, officials, coaches, and other fans. Trust me. A fight between two grandmas in the crowd is an ugly thing.
- Lavish the hugs.After a game, what your grandchild needs most is your love and support. A great post-game hug can provide much-needed perspective, especially after a tough loss.
- Go easy on the pressure. The pressure to perform can result in slumped shoulders and downcast eyes. That child should know they are safe with you, no matter the score. If they’ve had a rough game, a few affirming words from you can make all the difference.
At a Little League game, the coach called a 9-year-old player aside and asked, “Do you understand what teamwork is?”
“Yes, coach,” replied the little boy.
“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?”
The little boy nodded.
“And when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, or call the umpire a wienee. And when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not a dingbat decision by the coach who is a doofus, right?”
“Right, Coach.”
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”
