A friend has this on his voicemail: “Please leave a message. I am making some changes in my life. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.”
It is impossible to overestimate the importance of friendship as a spark plug for laughter. A recent study found that people rarely laugh alone. They are six times as likely to laugh in the presence of another person. And thirty times more likely to laugh when in a group. Like a yawn, laughter is contagious. You can get a chuckle from jokes and video clips on the Internet, but not the powerful rib-tickling, knee-slapping, fall-over laughter you get when that laughter bounces off of others.
Two guys were sentenced to solitary confinement for 20 years. Imagine. “You’re only allowed to bring one item each,” they were told. The first said, “I’ll take my wife.” The second was a smoker. “I’ll take 2,000 cartons of cigarettes,” he said. After 20 years the first guy stepped into freedom with his wife and five kids. “We’re a close family,” he smiled. The second guy came out patting his pockets. “Hey!” he said. “Does anyone have a light?”
Most things go up in smoke, but lasting relationships bring us a lifetime of joy.
When my father gave me advice on public speaking, he said, “Son, be prepared, be brief, be seated.” So, here are four biblical principles for building fantastic friendships.
- Be choosy. Your friendships could determine your success in life. 1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV) says, “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.”
- Be blind. Proverbs 17:9 (NLT) says, “Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” I have yet to be a perfect friend, so I shouldn’t go looking for one.
- Be quiet. I love this old African proverb, “Two great talkers won’t walk far together.” How true. We’ve been given two ears and one mouth, so perhaps we should listen twice as much as we talk. James 1:19 (ESV) says, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to become angry.” The older I get, the more I find myself listening to people who don’t talk so much. They always have more to say. Proverbs 12:15 (ESV) says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” Be choosy. Be blind. Be quiet. And…
- Be there. You want to find out who your real friends are? Get sick or go bankrupt. When my wife was battling a prolonged illness, her friend Julie showed up once a week and kidnapped our kids. We couldn’t have been more grateful. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times.” When possible, be there when a friend needs you. If you can’t be there, send a note or a text, make a phone call, or send chocolate. We can’t be perfect or have all the answers. But we can be there when friends really need us.
Best of all, Psalm 25:14 (NLT) promises us the ultimate friendship. “The Lord is a friend to those who fear him.” Friendship is one of the greatest joys of life. Remember: a laugh is best shared. Let’s find out who’s gonna cry at our funeral—and hang out with them.
Huddle: Do you have any friends who are struggling right now? How might you show that you are there for them? Why do you think God has given us the gift of friendship?
Remember: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).
Pray: Ask God to bless a friend of yours. Thank Him for one thing you like about your friend.
