The R Word

Our word of the day is “malapropism.” A malapropism occurs when someone uses an incorrect word in place of one that sounds similar or has a similar meaning. Like the guy who asked if he could “play Devil’s avocado for a minute.” Or the child who wrote, “A Christian should only have one wife, this is called monotony.” I think he meant monogamy.

One woman said she was going through “mental pause,” before adding that her husband had quit smoking, “cold duck.” I think that’s turkey. Or maybe her husband had a problem with smoking cold ducks. Either way, I’m glad to hear he has quit.

Here are some famous malapropisms:

Yogi Berra once said, “I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”
Baseball commentator Ralph Kiner said, “It’s Father’s Day, so to all you Fathers out there, happy birthday!”
The baseball player Wes Westrum said about a close ball game, “Well, that was a cliff-dweller.” He meant hanger. Cliff hanger.
Sports commentator Allen Weeks said, “Marie Scott has really plummeted to the top.”
Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House, once said, “This is unparalyzed in the state’s history.”
Actor Arthur Daley said, “The world is your lobster, my son.” I think it’s oyster.
Boxer Mike Tyson once said, “I’m fading into Bolivian.”
During an Easter Sunday school class, a teacher asked her kids, “What did Jesus do on Easter Sunday?” There was no response, so she gave her students a hint: “It starts with the letter R.” One boy blurted out, “Recycle!”

Of course, each Easter we celebrate that Jesus has risen, not recycled. But the truth is, this little guy isn’t the only one who has mixed up his R words on Easter Sunday.

Some say that Jesus was simply revived after His crucifixion. That He didn’t really die on the cross. He later woke up and walked out of the tomb. The problem is, there’s no historical account from Christians, Romans, or Jews that disputes Jesus’ death or burial.

Some say that He was removed from the tomb. That the tomb was robbed by the disciples, to make it look like He had risen. Others say the disciples rewrote the story. But history tells us that 11 of the 12 were killed for their faith. Would you die for something you knew was a lie? Count me out.

1 Corinthians 15:14 makes the bold statement: “If Christ has not been raised, our preaching is worthless, and so is your faith.” I believe the evidence is solid. God has conquered death. And each time we say, “He is Risen,” we remember that some day we will rise too. You might say it’s radically reassuring to know we’re redeemed. Let’s rejoice.

Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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