Middle Age Memories

Senior citizens are now learning to text. And to abbreviate. BFF means Best Friend Fainted. BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth. CBM: Covered by Medicare. LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out. GGPBL? Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low.

When my dad hit 75, he said to me, “Everything’s starting to click for me now. My knees are clicking, my elbows, my neck.” Getting older is an adventure. You hit fifty and you have to stretch before playing checkers. You get winded watching a gardening show. To make matters worse, your body decides to mutiny. It simply stops taking directions. Since the age of three I have played baseball. But lately when I hit a ground ball through the infield, my mind hollers, “Run. Move your legs. First base is that way!” But my body hollers, “Woah, slow down. You’ll be too tired to go to Ed’s Diner after the game. Remember, they serve nachos with cheese-flavored lard.”

Forgetfulness can also be an issue. Recently, at a large gathering, I introduced myself to the same person twice within the space of three minutes.

“We just met,” he said. “Aha,” I replied, “I was just testing you.”

When our kids were small, I started forgetting names. You have one child, it’s no problem. You have three and you’re in a hurry, you start using names of uncles and aunts and cats and dogs. “Bob, Sarah, Simba, Old Yeller!”

Recently I was at a reception where I met someone I hadn’t seen in years, and I introduced him to my wife. It sounded sort of like this: “Honey, this is, um…a dear friend of mine from…uh…high school. We were in, uh…a class together. I sat next to him three years in a row…we were best friends…he was best man at our wedding…and, uh…do either of you need more punch?” Of course, the thing to do is say, “Hi. I’m Phil and I’ve forgotten more than I remember. Tell me you’re not my first cousin.”

Our minds are like sponges. They soak things up. But you get too much information in them and sometimes they leak.

By tenth grade our brains had already accumulated years and years of completely useless information—which included jokes told during fourth grade recess and lyrics to songs like “Countin’ flowers on the wall, that don’t bother me at all.”

Perfectly good brain cells were wasted on these things, and trust me, no one gets to my age and wishes he had spent more time playing Nintendo or Angry Birds.

My dad loved to give me advice, but he didn’t have the best memory. Once he took me aside, and left me there.

In all seriousness, we spend so much time and energy and money dressing up the outward; looking good. But I’m increasingly mindful of the lasting value of taking care of the inside, taking care of my mind. Vitamins help. Team sports and gym passes and hobbies are great. Puzzles and brain teasers and juggling too. But I believe that programming our minds with Scripture meditation and memorization is the master key to aging well. The Bible has much to say about the renewal of the mind because the writers knew how badly we would need it. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” That’s Romans 12:2. Philippians 4:8 tells us what to fill our minds with. Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, and worthy of praise, think about these things. I’m still a young pup, but as I age, I must purposefully make this a habit. I hope I never forget to. And one more thing. Remember this. The chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to…uh….um…oh. What was it?

Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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