Mythbusters and Heaven

I grew up on myths. Here are five of them:

Myth 1: Swimming after eating causes debilitating cramps so wait at least 30 minutes. The truth behind this fable is all wet.

Myth 2: Chewing gum stays in your stomach seven years. It doesn’t. Don’t swallow that myth. And don’t swallow other stuff
either. People have swallowed toothbrushes, iPhones, and Fitbits. Be careful out there.

Myth 3: Cats suck your babies’ breath. Not so. Monitor pets around infants, but your cat should be purrfectly okay. I’m not kitten.

Myth 4: Eating carrots gives you better eyesight. Not true. This was a ploy to get us to drink carrot juice and eat carrot cake. What’s next? Beet cake? Garlic Pie? Asparagus Crisp?

Myth 5: We eat eight spiders a year while we sleep. Arachnophobics, sleep in peace. I don’t know who spun this myth. But don’t swallow it. It’ll drive you up the wall.

Many of us have swallowed myths about Heaven. Some think it will be Morgan Freeman in a white room. Movies like “Bruce Almighty” entertain, but teach little about the afterlife. Here are two myths too many of us swallow:

1. Heaven will be boring. TV ads about cheese and floating on clouds strumming harps have helped cement this myth. And, let me be honest, I’ve never been wild about the harp. Mark Twain said, “Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company,” which assumes that unending evil is exciting and righteousness is, ho-hum, hum-drum and boring. Satan has the patent on this great lie. Don’t fall for it. Wickedness robs us of joy and fulfillment. Far from making life interesting, it makes life empty. Psalm 16:11 (NIV) says,

“…you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

Heaven promises pleasures forevermore from a God whose creation bursts with infinite variety and endless beauty.

2. I’ll miss my old life. Recently, my wife and I were upgraded to First Class. Menus and mutton. Doilies and desserts. We discovered there are just two classes. First Class and No Class. This doesn’t come close to describing our breathtaking upgrade to heaven. What a hope is ours! Heaven will far surpass all bucket lists ever compiled for

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain,” (Rev. 21:4).

Heaven is gonna be out of this world.

Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

Want to read more from Phil?

3 min read

Old Age and Birthdays

Nurses in a long-term-care facility held a celebration for a resident on her 100th birthday. She was rather drowsy, so…

3 min read

Superstitions and Faith

I enjoy few things more than baseball. I know, it’s not as fast paced as golf or lawn bowling. But…

3 min read

Easter Fools?

Some think it fitting: That at a time devoted to hoaxes, we celebrate the most colossal hoax of all Here…