The Greatest Punch Lines (click to comment)

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Today we present another installment of really lame joke day. Our professional panel of joke enthusiasts couldn’t be found, so my son and I searched far and wide for the top seven terrible jokes of the year, and I believe we have outdone ourselves this time. Warning, the following attempts at humour will likely cause more groaning than giggling.

#7: How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
#6: Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
#5: What do you call a Bee who is having a bad hair day? A Frisbee.
#4: What did the grape say after the elephant sat on it? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
#3: Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The crews were marooned.
#2: What did the big bucket say to the little bucket? You look a little pail.

And our #1 worst joke of the year: What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit? Banananaaaaaa.

Actually, some of those weren’t bad. Did you know the Bible has some great punchlines? They may not make you laugh at first, but soak in them and they’ll bring you joy. Here are two.

1) God takes great pleasure in you and me. That’s right, the one who spoke everything into existence is crazy about us. Zephaniah 3:17 says: “For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty saviour. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Yes, God is so wild about us that His toes start tapping and He bursts into song. If you claim you’ve never been serenaded before, you’re wrong. You have. The greatest musician in the universe might just be singing over you right now. Do you feel unappreciated? You are loved and deeply treasured by the King of Kings. I hope that helps you grin today.

2) The greatest punch line is this, that this holy God would die for undeserving, under-appreciative sinners, and offer us unending pleasure throughout eternity with Him. The Bible tells us that “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). All we need to do in response is become like little kids, put our trust in Jesus and accept His gift of grace. And when we do we’ll find joy and even laughter. We may even find ourselves laughing at really lame jokes. Like this one. Do you know how the man in the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. Get it?

If you have any jokes to share with us. We don’t care how lame they are. Post them in the comment section. We love to hear from you.

Phil Callaway

Phil Callaway, the host of Laugh Again, is an award-winning author and speaker, known worldwide for his humorous yet perceptive look at life.

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