I’m grateful for feedback from Laugh Again listeners; some from children like Max. “You make me laugh,” he says. “I like that. I like jokes. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad.” Ha! Thanks Max.
You know, we hear from critics too. That’s life. We are all criticized. Sometimes it’s deserved, sometimes not. If you never want to be criticized, I’ve discovered how. Just follow my 3-step plan:
- Go nowhere.
- Do nothing.
- Say nothing. (Actually, you’ll be criticized for that too!)
So, let me say a few words to critics and the criticized. Some critics are just mean. Michael Coveny, a movie critic, wrote, “The only moving thing about Charleton Heston’s performance was his wig.” Famous reviewer Roger Ebert said, “If you plan to miss this movie, better miss it quickly; I doubt if it’ll be around to miss for long.” Criticism can suck the joy from our life. Here are a few things I’m learning that help.
- First, accepting criticism is a necessary component to moving forward on the pathway of joy. In fact, Proverbs 15:31 says, “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise” (ESV). We all want to be at home among the wise, so let’s listen to constructive criticism.
- Second, when criticized, let’s ask ourselves if the criticism contains truth. If it does, let’s learn from it.
When I began to write books, letters came that curled your toenails—some from a guy named Anonymous. A wise mentor told me ten things. I can only remember three:
- Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. Turn it instantly to prayer, asking God to remove resentment and teach me what I need to learn.
- Humbly accept what is true. If I’ve made a mistake, confess it to God and to anyone I’ve hurt.
- Remember that I’m a great sinner with a far greater Saviour. That I need God’s grace and great wisdom. Then smile and admit that I’ve done far worse things than my critic knows about.
Now, a word to critics, to the people who say, “I’m not a critic, I simply have the gift of discernment.” Ask yourself three questions:
- Am I motivated by an honest desire for the welfare of the person I’m correcting?
- Am I speaking the truth in love?
- Do I find this hard to do, or do I get some strange pleasure from it? Remember, criticism should be like rain, gentle enough to nourish one’s growth without destroying his roots.
I have seen people in ministry so discouraged by criticism that they simply give up and quit. How tragic.
I wish I noticed earlier that my children always did their best work when I encouraged, not criticized them. There’s a time to point out the need for change, but a spirit of approval is one of the greatest gifts a parent can offer. And remember, next time you criticize your children, don’t forget who raised them!
